Hermione Granger Hates Libraries
by Ebil
Summary: Ron and Harry visit Hermione over the summer. Mr. & Mrs. Granger are amused. Harry and Ron are near catatonic. Hermione is... well... Hermione.


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything, not making money off of it, etc.

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It was a well known fact in Gryffindor that if Hermione wasn't with Harry or Ron, she was in the library. Which leads us to the point where Harry and Ron were standing, near catatonic, in the Granger's living room.

Mrs. Granger waved her arm in front of Harry's face as Mr. Granger looked befuddled at Ron, trying his hardest to deduce what brought the two boys to such a state. The visit had started off well enough.

Adam, otherwise known as Mr. Granger, was sipping a cup of tea with his wife as they double checked their schedule for the next day when the doorbell rang. Or rather, rang a few times. He set down his cup and went to the door.

"Ron. RON! You only need to ring it once." Harry's voice was carrying beyond the door. The humor wasn't lost on Adam as he grinned. He snuck a look through the peep hole and inwardly laughed as Harry was physically restraining Ron from ringing the bell again. "Aw, Harry. Come on, one more time!" Deciding to intrude, more for the sake of his own sanity, than for Harry's plight in separating the red head from the doorbell ringer.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, what brings you to our abode?"

Harry and Ron quickly looked at Mr. Granger with sheepish looks on their face before Ron regained his previous demeanor. "Oi, where's Hermione?"

Harry jabbed Ron and glared at him before turning back to Adam. "Sorry about that, Mr. Granger, but we were in the area and wanted to visit with Hermione. Could you call her down."

Before Adam could respond, he felt his wife put a hand around his waist. "Why don't you two come in, Hermione's not here right now, but we should be able to entertain you until she gets back." At the boys nods, they let the two into their house. After recovering, once again, from being reprimanded, Ron giggled, "So is Herms at the library? I don't understand, what is with her and Libraries."

His wife raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about? Hermione hates libraries. We visited the local one when she was five. After all, she is such a connoisseur of books, we thought she'd be delighted with it. She took one look at the place and then cried the entire time we were there. Now that I think about it, it was probably her... what do you call it again? accidental magic?... we've never been able to go to a library with her again. Every time I tried to get near the library, my cell would go off and I'd have an emergency appointment at the clinic."

Adam nodded, it did make sense, "Yeah, and every time I got her a library card it would end up missing. Well, except for that one time that the card was suspiciously melted."

It was at that point that the boys went into their catatonic-like state.

A few more minutes of Adam poking Harry, and Helena threatening Ron with make-up, that the two, gaining no reaction, shrugged, and sat back down to their tea.

When Hermione returned home, the first thing that she noticed was that there were more shoes than normal at the door. The second thing she noticed were the two people standing in the living room. The final thing she noticed was that the two people weren't moving. She was shocked out of her thoughts when her mother came out of the kitchen. "Hello darling, welcome back." Noticing her daughter's incredulous looks, "Oh, and Ron and Harry stopped by. I think we broke them, though we're not sure how. We were only talking about libraries."

Hermione put her hands on her waist and huffed, "Honestly, those two. Always freezing up when it comes to libraries. You wouldn't believe what I go through to get them to study. It's like a root canal!" She then dug through the book bag that hung at her side and pulled out a particularly thick tome before walking over to the two figures and thwacking them on the head with the book.

Harry seemed to be the first to recover, "Her-Hermione? When did you get here?". Ron just seemed to be a broken recording, "Hermione? Hate Libraries? Bloody Hell... HERMIONE? Hate Libraries?"

Her parents sat down on the love-seat, eager to watch the interaction between their daughter and the two friends they never heard the end about. That, and they too had been on thereceiving end of some of her lectures and always delighted in watching her give them... to other people, that is.

Hermione gave a bit of a growl, "I just got home, thank you very much. Why are you here? What about Voldemort? And you Ron? What's this about libraries?"

Harry backed up a bit, "Erm, Privet Drive was compromised, Dumbledore sent us here to see if you wanted to join us for the remainder of the summer, Voldemort is... well, I don't know what he's doing. And libraries..." Harry shivered, "we thought you loved the Hogwarts library. You know how Ron is with shock."

At this, Hermione stopped short, "I do love Hogwarts' library. There's so many books, on everything magical imaginable. You know, I was able to find a book about de-fungus-ing your toes while bewitching your tonsils between a book on Dragon Mating and Arithmetic Answers And Analogies?"

"Honey, I thought you despised libraries, we couldn't bribe you to go to the local library when you were younger."

Hermione scowled, "That pathetic excuse for a library. Everything goes in one section, alphabetically. It's really horrid." Harry raised his eyebrow. "What? That's what makes the Hogwart's library so... magical! I could be looking for Runes and discover a little known tome on Magical Herbs. It's so easy to get lost in there, and yet everything is perfectly accessible." Hermione sighed a sigh of love lost, "I could spend my life there and never finish finding something new."

Harry fidgeted, he had learned more about Hermione and libraries than he ever wanted to know, "Err, right. Um, would you like to spend the rest of the summer with us?"

Hermione looked at her parents, who nodded their approval, "I'd love to, Harry. Where are we going? You-Know-Where?"

Ron, finally snapping out of it, shook his head, "Nope, Hogwarts!"

The glint that appeared in her eyes scared Harry halfway into the next week. He could handle Voldemort, He accepted that he'd never understand girls, but there was one thing he was sure he understood about Hermione and that was that he didn't ever want to understand Hermione and Libraries. Ron had similar thoughts. Hermione, well, she was just thinking about how many tomes she'd be able to get through during the remainder of the summer.

Adam and Helena Granger just smirked at each other before returning to their schedules.


End file.
